Critical Failures in the Chaos Wastes

Agnus the Cankerous Vs Ukol the Hexmaker

The sky was a deep bronze tinge as Agnus’s band finally made their way within the Chaos Wastes. It was just as Nurgle showed the old priest within his dreams. But even Agnus was surprised at what was to come…

Within hours of trudging through the barren landscape, Agnus’s band was accosted by a most curious sight. A small, many tentacled man wielding a banner made of human skin and his entourage of beastmen came rushing towards his band. Outnumbered, but not without faith, Agnus decided to greet in kind, raising his voice.

YOU SHALL FALL THIS DAY! FOR I AM AGNUS, SEVANT OF NURGLE!” he cried out, and the warband came rushing towards the tentacled man and his band of beasts. The tentacled man raised his limbs high in the air, muttering to himself. Agnus realized they were against a man of the arcane! This might not bode well…

But just as Agnus’s band came near, a most odd omen (or rather miracle, in Agnus’s case) appeared. The wizard man started to choke on his words, and gripped his stomach in such a fashion as though his entrails were about to explode out of it. THe man then keels over, falling to the ground, his face pale and awash with sweat. The beasts, not knowing what happened or what to do, merely pick up their leader, and rush off, before Agnus and his followers could attack.

The Skaven look confused, as did Agnus. But soon he came to realize what had happened. A wicked grin formed on his misshapen lips.

“Should go after them?!” Sreech, the younger of the Skaven said, while scratching his head.

“NO!” Agnus responds, and the ratmen look at him strangely. He coughs for a moment, trying to ready himself for a sermon, just as he did back in his old village. “DO YOU NOT SEE HAT HAS HAPPENED?! PAPA NURGLE HIMSELF HAS BLESSED US WITH A MOST FRUITIOUS SIGN! HE HAS INFECTED THAT MISERABLE WIZARD WITH A DISEASE! IT JUST PROVES HE WAS NOT WROTH NURGLE’S (AND OUR) TIME!”

The Skaven looked at one another. “We go kill him? He not far. Want eat face!” Fat-face said, a name that aptly describes both the stupid creature’s intelligence and look.

“NO, LET THEM RUN! WORD OF MOUTH IS AFTER ALL, A DISEASE! LET THE NAME AGNUS THE CANKEROUS SPREAD THROUGHOUT THIS WASTELAND! LET ALL WHO HEAR IT TREMBLE BEFORE NURGLE!”

The Skaven cheered him on. Father Agnus replied each with a slap on the face… with the butt end of his staff. The creatures look at him even more confused. “I said you can’t KILL them. I never said to not harry them. GO NOW, MAKE THEIR ESCAPE AS HUMILIATING AS POSSIBLE!”

With that, the rats run off after the beastmen, who now had quite a headstart on them. Agnus’ grin grew ever more wide. By the day’s end, the grin could almost envelop his own face when the ratmen brought news back to him that they managed to poke and prod the beastmen with their spears, wounding some of them in the process.

It was not as glamourous a battle as Agnus read in the scrolls, but even he knew that all things started out small. And like any disease, once it grows out of control, nothing can stop it. Such was the crusade Agnus vowed to bring to the Wastes, and after that, the rest of the world…

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